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Be Still and Know that I am God

Psalm 46:10 (NIV)

My 1990 journal records a Friday night I was supposed to hear Carmen in concert. The six members of my band and our families arranged to travel together on our old converted school bus. But plans change.

The evening before I’d spent most of the night on the floor of the bathroom with a bucket. I prayed and begged my Heavenly Father to take the illness away. My notebook says,

“I believe in my heart had He chosen to do so,
He could have, and I wasn’t sure why He chose not to,
but I finally just gave it to Him to do with as He pleased.
(And He still pleased NOT to take it away.)”

Lynne’s Journal

That Thursday started horribly. I’m not a morning person, but I woke earlier than usual so I could stop at my mom’s for a shower. We’d been without water for at least 36 hours. My job consumed me, and my family dictated all my free time. Teary eyes and prayers for help filled the half-hour drive to work. My journal recalls,

“My music has gotten lost in the shuffle. Where will it end?
I manage to make time for hurried prayers, and I wearily read my Bible,
but I find myself crying out for God’s help to slow things down
and give me some control of my life.
The only thing keeping me sane at this point
are the words of praise He’s taught me to lift up to Him in times of trial.”

Lynne’s Journal

I believe God’s tardiness in answering what I called my “bucket prayer” those decades ago allowed him to answer my commuting cries. If healing had come early Thursday evening, I’d have gone to work Friday morning. Within minutes of getting home, the family would have loaded on the bus to get to the concert on time. I would have been exhausted. And according to my little journal, several of my own concerts on Saturday and Sunday as well as a nine-year old’s birthday on Monday required my attention.

I wanted to slow down, but it seemed impossible. I realize God doesn’t cause illness; however, He used this malady to give my thirty-something self a valuable message. Listen to it from her perspective:

“In the recovery time the illness forced me to take,
I heard God’s voice.
I was awake much of last night and in bed until two this afternoon.
During this time my Savior spoke to me,
and I realized this illness was really His gift.
I couldn’t seem to slow down, so He slowed me down.
Hopefully I learned a lesson today, one I won’t quickly forget,
and one that God won’t need to teach me again.
What exactly is that lesson? Let God be in control.
When life gets too hectic and seems out of control,
it probably is, so give it back to Him.”

Lynne’s Journal

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